The Fear of Letting Go
The fear of letting go is the fifth and final cause of our suffering according to the Yoga Sutras. The Sanskrit term for this affliction is abhinivesha which is classically translated as, “fear of death” or “clinging to the bodily life.” This affliction is all-pervading and feeds our misunderstanding of who we are and what our purpose is.
We spend much of our lives grasping and clinging, fooling ourselves that we can posses and hold on to people, things and experiences. When we do not consciously acknowledge the impermanence of everything which we interact with, we create future suffering for ourselves. Inevitably, the fluctuation of change disrupts our illusion of ownership and permanence when the person, thing or experience is lost. Because the fear of letting go runs so deep, it requires daily acknowledgment and practice to pry ourselves from its grip.
“Clinging to life, flowing by its own potency (due to past experience), exists even in the wise.”
Abhinivesha - The Fifth Affliction
“Abhi” means “from every direction, from every vantage point;” “ni” means “completely, without exception, in every respect;” “vesha” means “penetrating piercing.”
Yoga Sutra 2.9 is telling us that the affliction of abhinivesha penetrates into our lives from every direction and nobody is exempt from its reach, even the wise. To understand why this affliction pierces us so deeply, we need to go back to the chain of afflictions, namely, misunderstanding that our outer identity motivated by its attachments and aversions is the totality of who we are. Identifying with our false sense of identity leads us to believe that our existence is contained within the time frame of our physical body’s duration. The rational mind conceives of time as a linear experience and the ego is terrified of its time coming to an end. This thought is so overwhelming that the ego hides away from and pushes the idea of death away as it clings desperately to the body.
Yoga, on the other hand, is the experience of timelessness. The paradox being that it takes a long time of sincere practice until one is able to dissolve the concept of time. The yogis view a “long time of sincere practice” to span over many, many, many lifetimes as the soul exchanges one body for another to continue its journey towards enlightenment. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna explains to Arjuna that death is no different than changing one’s worn out garments (2.22).
Our constricted sense of time creates an anxiety within us which seeps into every crevice of our existence. To release the fear of death requires a reframing of how we experience time. Daily commitment to practices which foster presence begin to unravel our well woven construct of time. When present, the conditioned mind and its perception of time and space dissolves. Then the seer rests and abides in its eternal essence.
Savasana - The Practice of Death
During the Indian epic the Mahabharata, the hero Yuddhisthira is asked, “of all things, in life, what is the most astounding?” Yuddhisthira replies, “that a person, seeing others die all around him, never thinks he will die.” We spend most of our lives avoiding the subjects of aging and death. Instead of looking to our elders as beacons of knowledge and experience, we view them as out of touch and having little or no value to add to our communities. Perhaps we turn our backs on the older generation because we a reminded of our own mortality?
No matter how hard we try to fool ourselves, death will come one day and yoga takes the subject of death straight on. This is because death is a part of the whole of being alive. From the yogic perspective, death is a doorway to our next life. Each cycle of life is another opportunity to learn, grow and evolve. Just as if we were held back a year in school if we did not meet the requirements, death and rebirth are opportunities to pick up where we left off and continue our evolution. Eventually, we can end the cycle of birth and death when we liberate ourselves from ignorance and the bondage of cause and effect.
“The practice of dying little by little, every day brings yoga.”
In Hatha yoga, savasana or corpse pose is the conscious practice of a mini-death. The final posture in the Hatha sequence is the practice of letting go of our attachment to all previous activity and severing the tethers of each and every strand of our outer identity. With daily practice of savasana, we loosen the grip of our attachments and rigid view points. We find more comfort in discomfort and experience curiosity rather than fear when facing the mysteries of life. The yogis encourage us to prepare for death on a daily basis so when the time comes, we will not be frightened. Instead, the yogin is able to direct their mind to a single point of concentration shedding the skin of their body and welcoming the next realm of being.
Why is this relevant?
Death is the one inevitability which we all share and this destiny fills us with dread. Much of our society is ignoring the pandemic much like we ignore death itself. The mind and the ego do not like change nor uncertainty. When grappling with the unknown, the ego armors itself with defensive and selfish behaviors as it clings to what is familiar. Over the last few weeks, we have seen grown adults have meltdowns in grocery stores, assault others when asked to follow guidelines, even taking the life of a bus driver all because the ego cannot let go. People don’t want their liberties taken away as they live their lives unknowingly enslaved by their egos.
Yoga sutra 2.9 guides us to not only accept change, but to witness the transformative opportunities which arise from change. Welcoming the unknown dismantles the ego’s defensive and selfish tendencies. Liberty begins when we drop our demand that life should bend towards our wishes. The less demanding we are, the more vital and available we become to be of service to others. When we practice letting go on a daily basis, we experience the fullness of being alive. Letting go of our sense of ownership and permanence relinquishes the bondage of fear. This is the true freedom which we all seek.
Sit in silence, steady your mind, drop your ideas of who you think you are and experience your essential nature, the immortal Self, which is beyond time, space, even death itself.