The False Sense of Self-Identity
Asmita is the sense of “I-am-ness.” This false sense of self-idenity is the second of the five kleshas or afflictions and arises from misunderstanding or avidya. The identification as a separate self solidifies avidya and the two of these afflictions work together creating more confusion and conflict in our lives and in society.
“Egoism is the identification, as it were, of the power of the seer (Purusha) with that of the instrument of seeing. ”
Verse 2.6 of the Yoga Sutras was inspired by Samkaya philosophy, a system of enumeration delineating the mysterious evolution of the cosmos. According to Samkaya, the natural world exists for the purpose of revealing the highest Truth to those who sincerely seek it. Realization of the Truth is ultimate freedom and arises from dissolving ignorance. When we are able to see clearly, we no longer perceive ourselves as a separate self filled with fears and bias’, but we witness ourselves as purusha or pure consciousness itself.
Avidya’s grip is strong and it creates a doubt in our pursuit of deeper understanding of ourselves and our purpose. It is a veil of illusion which leads us to believe that a meaningful life requires that we become “someone.” The more that we pursue defining our self-identity or our sense of “I, me, mine,” the more confused and insecure we become. Suddenly we fear all the other, “I, me and mine’s” out in the world and have to compete with them to prove our unique specialness. This is the beginning of a lifetime of unconscious stories we tell ourselves and each story becomes another layer which distorts our perception and veils our True self.
The memory of ourselves as pure awareness returns from time to time. These moments of clarity interrupt the illusion and restore our faith in our purpose. But as quickly as the moment dawns, it is rapidly engulfed by a lifetime of story telling which deludes us to believe that our outer identity is the limit of who we are. We operate as a compromised self which is asmita.
Asmita - The Second Affliction
Asmita is a result of the individual taking possession of both the tools of perception, the mind and senses, and the objects being perceived. This misperception creates the appearance that things and experiences are the sources of our happiness. We falsely perceive objects, experiences and our identity as fixed rather than transient moments in the arc of time. We become deeply attached to the things which we think provide us name and fame and define who we are. We spend our lives chasing something which will continue to slip through our hands.
Asmita’s dependence upon the external world to reflect back and bolster its uniqueness is dissatisfying and perpetuates a cycle of grasping and clinging. The mind becomes deeply habituated to the pattern of seeking externally for validation. We become so attached to our outer identity that the thought of untangling from it is unfathomable.
In contrast, consciousness does not depend upon anything to define it because it is beyond attributes. Consciousness is a state of being which is described as sat-chit-ananda, or existence-awareness-bliss absolute. The realization that we are pure awareness requires that we drop our false sense of identity. Due to avidya and asmita’s desire to maintain their power, the thought of deconstructing our conditioned identity cripples us with fear because it requires that we let go of our need to feel important. It is more comfortable to feel mighty in our small self than embrace the vastness of our true Self.
Samskaras
A samskara is an impression or groove in the mind. The groove deepens the more that we identify with or repeat a particular thought or action. Not seeing clearly or avidya is our deepest samskara. Our awareness of ourselves as a limited personality has been formulated from our past experiences. We can think of samskaras as the many and intricate stories we tell ourselves. The more we follow a particular narrative, the deeper that impression is imprinted in our mind creating a bias in our perception. The stories we tell ourselves are usually either something pleasing to our identity or something we fear. In either case, we bait our circumstances to validate our narrative rendering our prejudiced point of view.
Our attachment to our false identity creates a binary lens where we experience the world as a field of oppositional pulls; friends and enemies, successes and failures, right and wrongs. The tension of these oppositional forces tug at us and we experience ourselves as both superior and inferior, happy and sad, worthy and unworthy. The uncertainty that we experience breeds greed, competition, perfectionism and a gestalt of imbalanced sensations. This is the ground of a corrupt and unjust civilization riddled by asmita’s superiority complex. Humans have and continue to dominate over the planet, one another and animals. Because this complex is bred within us, the only way to unravel it and truly root out the inequities we witness is to turn inwards and begin the process of untangling ourself from the narrative of “I-am-ness.”
Why is this relevant?
With the knowledge of the power of our mind as an instrument and the play of avidya and asmita as a projection of our mind, we can make a choice to disrupt their workings and lessen their grip over us. We have the ability to recognize our habits and blind spots. But of course, this process requires time, tenacity and commitment, things that the ego-bound personality tends to be weary of. We make excuses, distract ourselves and become hypnotized by our compromised self once again.
Lifting the veil of illusion has the potential to evolve our society into an enlightened reality. There is no magic switch that will get us there. It is a long process to dismantle the ego and the intolerant societal paradigms it has contributed to constructing. But letting go of the illusion is a commitment that each one of us is required to make if we wish to see a world where systemic racism is eradicated, climate justice is realized and economic disparity is abolished.
Just like COVID, we can pretend that it went away, but the reality is, we are just getting started. It would be wise to open our eyes, take a breath and harness our inner resources because ushering in a new reality is going to take decades of consistent and dedicated work. The results of which may not even be experienced by some of us. Selfless work for the collective is the heart of yoga. Perhaps there is no greater service we can offer the world than letting go of the story of who we think we are.